I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
