once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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