he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
