It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How external is "for external use only"?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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