I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
