I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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