the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
