what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
