when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
