so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Farmville is her only friend.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
