Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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