He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize