I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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