I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
