New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
