last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
