Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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