Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
splinters make it hard to masturbate
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
