I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
