i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
