For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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