yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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