NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
