I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
