she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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