Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize