you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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