is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
