guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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