I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize