Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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