i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
