Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We're too hungover to prance.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
