apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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