Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
