come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
