I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A bitchslap is in order.
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