She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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