lets start a swedish sibling band together
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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