whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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