i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish you could order shots online.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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