either way he was missing a nipple.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
