Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
