It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They have beer where we have blood.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
