I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize