They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
