would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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