i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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