Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
