My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
