Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
