I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
