I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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