dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
