WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
