some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
