HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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