There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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