My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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