sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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