god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
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Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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