if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.