I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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