omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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